Real.

6/366.

At dinner tonight you got spaghetti in your hair. For a lot of other children this would just mean that their hair would have to be washed, they might cry and scream, but it is something that would be over quite quickly.

For you, this means a lot more. I mentioned to you that I would need to wash your hair because of the spaghetti in it and suggested you lie down so I could wash it without getting the water in your eyes. I could see the fear instantly. You started running your wet hands through your hair and told me it was all clean. I repeated my suggestion, but the crying started and I knew I was just going to have to get this job done. Now.

I have to hold you in the bath. I've had to splash water all over your face because I'm trying to keep you in it, safe from falling over and trying to get it all washed as quickly as possible. You start hitting yourself in the face, the screaming is so loud I wonder why our neighbours don't report me for child abuse. It's then done, I wipe your face and get you out of the bath. I am secretly happy because you didn't start dry retching. After wrapping you in your towel you walked to the lounge and sit down, giving me this face.

So while this might not be the most 'delightful' moment of our day, it's very real. It's Sensory Processing Disorder and how it affects you Asher. I wish I could make it feel better, I wish it didn't make you feel the way it does. I'm so glad we found something together to purchase so hopefully next time might be a tiny bit better. Because 3 years of this has been long enough.