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31/366.
Here you are proudly showing off your new haircut. You excitedly came home and told your dad - "I have spikes!". You were so brave Asher. I remember your first haircut like it was yesterday. You threw yourself around and cried so hard you had drenched your shirt and the cover in dribble with hair stuck in it. I felt awful. This was before your diagnosis of SPD. I'm more prepared now. You had Cedric the weighted snake sitting in your lap and we got through this together with a little help from a DVD. Well done Asher.
30/366.
I am cheating and using a picture I took the night before.
Here you are sleeping. Like an angel. I stare at this picture and wonder how I ever created something so perfect and angelic. I love you Asher.
29/366.
Today we spent the day out and about while daddy stayed home. You had a really busy day, but were so excited to see your dad this afternoon. Many cuddles were had, as well as lots of conversations on the phone!
I love watching your relationship blossom with your dad. The dad/daughter relationship is such a special one and one that I treasured as a child. Your face lights up when you see him and frequent squeals of 'dad! dad! daddy! dad!' can be heard throughout the day. Daddy is able to settle you at night when mummy and boom is just not enough.
29/366.
Today we had a play date with a few natural mummas I have met through Facebook. You were in heaven playing with all the boys and girls, running around like a madman, so much so you ended up dripping in sweat! On the way home you crashed and I just couldn't resist snapping this picture.
28/366.
We just found out that you were accepted into the early entry program for kindy. Due to your special needs this gives you 2 terms of 1 session a week to get used to the routine, the building, the teachers, other children and noise levels before starting kindy formally. As part of our orientation for you we went for a bit of a drive this morning and visited your new kindy while it was empty and quiet, just so you could see the building and the yard.
I have such mixed feelings about this. You are so excited about your 'big boy kindy'. We've picked out a new lunch box and drink bottle for it. I think you will love it, I truly do. I can't believe how big you are though. I can't believe you are not that tiny little baby I held in my arms for hours when you were a newborn any more. Where did the years go? Have I done you a good job raising you so far? Will you like kindy? Will you make friends? Am I making the right decision in trusting this school, this teacher and this system with you?
28/366.
Today we visited Asher's new kindy when it was empty, so he could have a look around. You were very excited too, I think you hope you will be coming for a play as well! I'm sorry Miss Layla, not for a few years. I'm not ready for you to grow up yet!
27/366.
Fridays are day care days. You were very tired and we were getting you and Asher ready for bed. I watched as you popped your doll up on a pillow, put a blanket over here and started patting her (maybe a little too roughly!) to sleep. It is amazing what you pick up! Children really are little sponges.
26/366.
You really enjoyed the water play today. I watched you concentrate as you poured the water from one toy to the other, occasionally glancing at your big brother to see what he was up to. You took such care while pouring, it makes a change from the splashing we get all over the bathroom at bath time!
26/366.
Today is Australia Day. You were very excited to make a flag as part of our celebrations!
25/366.
We had a pretty rough day today. No naps, shopping centre meltdowns, screaming and constant hot weather. But I know at the end of it (after a dinner time tantrum because that was NOT what you wanted to eat!) we'll have our bath time and you both will love it. We have lots of laughs, splashing and it helps end our day on a more positive note.
24/366.
After our visit to the doctors both you and Asher were very excited about spotting The Big Red Car. Luckily enough we had a spare $2 coin and I had my camera to snap these pictures!
I just love the look of absolute adoration you give your brother here.
24/366.
Today we had to make a trip to the doctors for Layla. It was an hour long wait and you did SO well, especially considering you don't like crowds or lots of noise - which the waiting room was full of! We were very busy playing with your cars and you also found a stash of stones and sticks that you have collected on walks and put in the bottom of the pram.
An elephant sitting on the roof.
23/366.
You are loving these blocks at the moment so I have put them in the quiet corner for you. You spent a good 10 minutes building towers, clapping and then letting them fall over before starting again. It didn't matter how many times I showed you that they would last a little longer on the floor, you insisted they be built on your couch!
23/366.
I had to snap this picture of you today making use of our new quiet corner. You told me all about the angry bunny that was 'fat' and then got happy again. It was 2 minutes of quiet in a very hectic Asher-filled day!
20/366.
My poor sweet baby was feeling a bit out of sorts after a busy day at day care. She needed mummy snuggles to help settle her back to sleep, mummy was all too happy to give you cuddles you needed.
20/366.
Asher you are very mechanical. You love to help your daddy work on his car. You can tell me about all sorts of things that I know nothing about (the latest was something about a port!).
Your latest project with your dad is doing up your go-kart. Here you are busy with Layla fixing the wheels, telling her 'Not like that, try it this way Yaya!'.
Your daddy is very proud.
19/366.
Before bedtime Layla was very busy building towers.
18/366.
Today I watched as you tenderly wrapped up Dora in her blanket. You snuggled her into your arms like a newborn babe and wandered around the lounge room before starting the process all over again.
I sometimes wonder what kind of person you will be when you are in your 20's and 30's. Will you be a mum? What kind of mum will you be? I think you will make a wonderful mumma, full of love for your babies. You have a heart of gold, my little love, so caring and kind.
18/366.
This is what you were doing at 1am.
No wonder you were tired this morning.
17/366.
This picture melts my heart. My two beautiful babies, you love each other so much and are so beautiful together. Moments like this I will hold on to forever.
16/366.
So while this experience was part of your brothers sensory diet, I set it up for you as well. You dipped one finger in and pulled this face. I must admit I had a little giggle. You mainly watched your brother play, I tried to show you how nice it felt but you wouldn't listen to me. I also may have put some on your tummy, but at least I washed it off as soon as you asked me too!
16/366.
Today we made some gloop and you and your sister hopped in the bath to explore it. You dived your hands right into it and used some good language while telling me all about it - "It goes plop plop plop mum!". You were very brave exploring this new sensory experience.
15/366.
Today at the shops, wearing your ear muffs and hat. Both of these things help you feel calmer. We know you are beginning to feel 'funny' because you get quite loud and start screaming to block out all the other noises. The ear muffs help reduce the noise and the hat helps to reduce the lighting as well as helping you feel more secure and enclosed. A calmer Asher is a happier Asher (and mum and dad!).
14/366.
As I was putting things in my bag getting ready to go you noticed me holding the camera. You started posing just like this while saying 'cheeeeeeeese!'.
13/366.
Nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than bath time and splashing!
13/366.
'No cheese mum, I do silly faces!'
11/366.
Just the other day you were unwell and refused to breastfeed for a day and a half. I was a bit worried you wouldn't return to the breast, but last night while half asleep you had a dream feed and you've been back to loving your 'boom' ever since. This mumma is very happy, I was not ready for you to wean.
11/366.
From the back seat I hear - "Mum I go sleep now".
10/366.
Your picture today is a bit of a cheat pic, Miss Layla. You spent most of the day quite miserable because you were feeling unwell. So instead of taking a photo of you, I quickly took this one of some of your cloth nappies I was snapping together. You have been in cloth since a few weeks of age, starting with prefolds and covers and now moving to my favourite - AI2's. We use lots of different brands, but I'm having a lot of fun finding WAHM nappies and nabbing them. The owl and the unicorn are made by my favourite WAHM - Charlie Rose Nappies.
10/366.
I paused for 2 seconds to check I had my keys. On turning around I found you doing this. You told me 'I pick leaves for Yaya'. What a sweet big brother you are!
9/366.
I know you weren't too impressed with having to sit back and watch as Asher explored and walked beside you. Thankfully though, you will sit back and take it all in. Next time I promise we will have found your shoes!
9/366.
You went for a walk with your daddy and brought back lots of treasures. One of those sticks has been used as a magic wand. Your imagination is blossoming.
8/366.
Originally I started this blog as a place to document our journey with SPD, so when I was stuck at the end of the day with no photo for Asher I thought this was a perfect excuse to talk about how we help Asher to stay calm.
To find out more about SPD please see this post which also has a link to the SPD Australia website.
Asher is a sensory 'seeker' (he is also defensive, but for this post I will just be talking about how he seeks or craves sensory input). He spends a lot of his day, and I mean a lot, banging and crashing to give him the sensory input that he craves. I tell people a lot that Asher bounces off walls and I mean that literally, he will crash into walls. To help him we have something called a 'Sensory Diet' that we are implementing, this is a diet of activities at specific times of the day to give him the proprioceptive input he needs to be able to concentrate on his day and participate in day-to-day activities like other children his age.
Since his diagnosis I have discovered all sorts of products to help Asher reach his full potential. The one pictured is for Asher to chew on. Asher will seek out random objects to bite or mouth, and if unable to find something else will bite himself - which leaves marks all over his arms. This product is attached to his waist band and he is able to chew whenever necessary. Chewing also helps calm him by giving him the input he needs when in a stressful situation - like a shopping centre. Asher needs a lot of reminding due to his age, but our aim is to give him the tools to allow him to self regulate without my help.
I'm still learning a lot about SPD and how it affects Asher every day. As his communication gets better he is able to explain to us more. Just the other day Asher told his dad that all the people at shopping centres make him feel funny (sensory overload). We had guessed this was part of the issue while shopping, but it helps us to help him when he is able to tell us.
8/366.
At the moment for all naps, your cot must be set up like this. You must have a sippy full of water, and even if full I have to get you 'more'. You need your dummy and 2 dolls - Upsy Daisy and Ariel. They must be laying next to you, just right. They then must be tucked in. If these things have not happened you will not sleep, no siree!
7/366.
I really loved sitting back and watching you play today. You had your bus and person. You would open the door, put the person in the bus, close the door and then take her out. Over and over again. I could see how hard you were concentrating, only once were you distracted by your brother shouting something from the other end of the hallway.
This is what childhood is about. Learning as you play. I don't think I will ever get bored of watching your interpretations of the world through your play.
7/366.
You have a very special relationship with your Gran. You have always been close to her even though she lives so far away. For Christmas this year she gave you one of the books that reads the story to you in her voice. We pulled it out today and had a listen. I just love the look on your face.
6/366.
At dinner tonight you got spaghetti in your hair. For a lot of other children this would just mean that their hair would have to be washed, they might cry and scream, but it is something that would be over quite quickly.
For you, this means a lot more. I mentioned to you that I would need to wash your hair because of the spaghetti in it and suggested you lie down so I could wash it without getting the water in your eyes. I could see the fear instantly. You started running your wet hands through your hair and told me it was all clean. I repeated my suggestion, but the crying started and I knew I was just going to have to get this job done. Now.
I have to hold you in the bath. I've had to splash water all over your face because I'm trying to keep you in it, safe from falling over and trying to get it all washed as quickly as possible. You start hitting yourself in the face, the screaming is so loud I wonder why our neighbours don't report me for child abuse. It's then done, I wipe your face and get you out of the bath. I am secretly happy because you didn't start dry retching. After wrapping you in your towel you walked to the lounge and sit down, giving me this face.
So while this might not be the most 'delightful' moment of our day, it's very real. It's Sensory Processing Disorder and how it affects you Asher. I wish I could make it feel better, I wish it didn't make you feel the way it does. I'm so glad we found something together to purchase so hopefully next time might be a tiny bit better. Because 3 years of this has been long enough.
6/366.
You are all smiles, Miss Layla Evelyn!
When looking at your eyes I can see how tired you are after a busy first day back at day care playing with your new friends, but you won't let that slow you down! You're a bundle of energy and fun and you keep me laughing everyday.
I am so glad you love day care so much. I was so nervous about putting you in and I feel an immense amount of guilt. But you run in so excited to see all the toys and children. You wave your daddy and me off with a quick 'bye!'. While peeking through the window we see how happy you are even though we are gone. Thank you so much for trusting in me enough to know that I will come back to you.
And I do.
5/366.
Today you discovered the delightful noise your play saucepans make. After banging on them a few times you glanced up at me with the biggest smile on your face. I love watching you learn and grow each day and discovering new things.
5/366.
Dear Asher,
Today was rough. You were back at day care yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks and the sensory overload was just too much for you. We had meltdowns a plenty. There were tears and some shouting, sadly not just from you.
Sometimes I find it really hard to be patient and for that I am sorry. I wish I could help you at all times. I try my best to stay calm, but sometimes it can be difficult. Please know that I always love you and know that I will try my hardest to help you through everything. Please know that I will always be your mum and your advocate.
Bath time tonight was full of laughter. You were squirting Layla with a water bottle and your chuckle was infectious. After a long day it is my favourite sound. Thank you for always being you and for always loving me enough to know I make mistakes and forgive me.
Mummy.
4/366.
I love this photo for so many reasons.
Asher, you told 'Yaya' to hold your hand and she gladly went along with it. I love that Layla is walking so confidently after working so hard at your gross motor skills. I love how confident you two both are out in the world, there's no stopping either of you!
And I love how close you are, how you are both best of friends as well as brother and sister. You can fight, scream at each other and pull each others hair, but there is still so much love between you both. It's a relationship I feel so blessed to be able to watch grow.
3/366.
I didn't plan to have another sleeping photo so soon, but when I saw you like this I just had to take it.
We've had a bit of a rough afternoon, you and I. You were so tired today. I suggested a few times you have a nap, so when Daddy went to work I sent both you and your sister (who refused a nap as well) for some 'quiet time'. You insisted on not sleeping, on not shutting your door and on taking some toys with you.
20 minutes later I went to check on you and this is what I saw. Sometimes baby, mum does know best!
3/366.
Delight is eating a nice cold 'yoghurt pop' on a hot day.
Naked.
2/366.
Layla, you love your 'boom'. It always makes me smile to see the little dance you do when I start lifting my shirt after you have asked for some. I am so proud that we have reached 21 months of breastfeeding together. I love looking into your eyes while I feed you. Breastfeeding didn't come easy to you and I, but here we are almost 2 years later.
